Progress Notes

Today in my field orientation, the presenter made a really good point. For a competency in our field education learning plans, one of the practice behaviors was to “reflect upon the meaning of change in [social work students'] lives and the lives of their clients”. She said that we’re all entering this advanced standing MSW program and even though it is a wanted change, we are still going through a lot of processing right now. I appreciated this comment. I’ve been wondering lately if I’m just being forgetful or worrying too much. I may indeed be worrying too much, but it’s not an arbitrary mood swing. I recognize that this semester, seven weeks of very condensed class material, is already challenging and it is going to be even more challenging in the coming weeks. I recognize that life as I know it is changing constantly. I’m learning a large amount of material in a short amount of time. In January, the first month of my final semester in school, I’m supposed to begin looking for an MSW job. This is almost inconceivable to me because I’m just starting. In five months I’ll be presenting myself as an employable MSW? In ten months I’m going to start working full time as an MSW? There are many things to consider, including licensing exams and qualifications. In five months, I need to determine what geographic area I want to live and work in. Right now, I know I want to work with children and families. That’s just about it. The other ideas in my head really aren’t formulated yet.
If the above paragraph sounds overwhelming, hold on. Read a certain way, that paragraph is very overwhelming. However, I know it’s going to be ok. The changes I am making in my routine will become the routine itself before long. I’ll be accustomed to an adjusted social life, sleep patterns that promote the “graduate student” lifestyle, and to spending hours each day reading and writing. Everything really is ok right now, including the feelings of sheer grandness.
The best way I can describe this feeling is comparing myself to a new sailboat. I’m at the edge of the harbor looking out over the horizon, and all I can see is ocean. I can’t turn back now because I have been made to sail this ocean. I’ve been designed to move over the waters. I’m built to win. Everything I need to move forward at this time, I’ve been equipped with, and there will be plenty of places to get what I need along the way. There is always hope for me. There is a beautiful ocean stretched out right in front of me. I can be troubled and ignore all of the provision and hope, or I can be grateful and brave and accept this awesome journey.
This change is good. I’m going sailing!